| the sun will not be judged for falling, as I will judge myself |
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Branden, Slayer of hoodrats.
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[23 Apr 2007|12:16am] |
Strike it from the record.
If only it was that fucking easy.
A cave seems like a nice home
in my dreams she resembles....
in my dreams she resembles....
in my bed she rambles
a house seems like a not so nice cave
if only it was that fucking easy
this is my disease
not yours
this is your disease
not mine
you are the vaccine
i am th the virus
a cave seems like a nice home
yeah, in my dreams.
thumb on the interstate
doors open in a house so we can see behind them
thumb on the interstate
thats what I want to be.
get me a way from this fucking place
Lets move to chicago and steal cars for a living?
no. I'll move to the congo and shoot insurgents for a living.
a is for asphixiation
b is for boy you know how to play this game
c is for cute dresses that fall off the shoulder
d is for dang
and e is for everyone you know that knows me and vice versa
that I want to be a thumb on the interstate
doors open in a house so we can see behind them
we'll watch the some come up in millwaukee
and i'll say what alice cooper said in waynes world
you're baberham lincoln
i'm prailens and dick.
lets move to chicago and steal cars for a living?
no. I'll move to key largo and bartend for a living
call me cocktail
i'll bring the former, you bring the later.
when all I want to do is force open the doors of your old house for your birthday
and smoke cigars in your old room
and ask you about all the times you thought there was a monster in your closet
and about the times you wouldnt answer the phone
yeah.
f is for...
g, yeah f is for g.
and g is for goodbyes.
so goodbye. This aint the first one, wont be the last one (hopefully)
yeah. i'm hoping for goodbyes.
because i'm a thumb on the interstate
take me back to my house
its a cave
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| Dont call it a comeback, i've been here for years. |
[19 Apr 2007|04:34am] |
Non friends only entry. Figured if anyone still checks this they might as well be up on the news haha.
My life right now is pretty awesome. It consists of work, hanging out with my girlfriend, and watching movies or playing 360. Its so crazy how I find happiness in the smallest things. I dont need to go out and spend money to have an awesome time.
I'm currently looking for a new job. The one i'm at now just seems so old and useless. I've given this palce 3 years of my life, and I dont want them to take anymore, Honestly. As soon as I can find a new job, i'm outta here. No looking back. I'm tired of coming into work at 10:40 pm every night (especially fridays). Its so dreadful and it makes my entire day seem crappy. I'm looking for a day job. So I can get off around 5 or 6 and still have a good 5 hours or so to hang with my friends if I want, or go to a show and not have to leave early. I've been sending Resumes on craigslist for the past week. I've had a couple contact me back, but only one was worth it. I'm supposed to have an interview there today. Hope that goes well. I'm usually a pretty good interviewer.
I had a dream the other night about the Have Heart/Cold World show in Dallas haha. It was crazy, but i'm really stoked for htat show. Also for the Crime In Stereo show the week before in dallas.
I've got to save up money for car repairs soon. I need new break pads and a 30K mile check up. All in all its around 400 bucks.
I've stopped working at the pizza place except for like one day a week. I might get another day added soon during the beginning of the week. Just for a little extra change. Depending on how the new job I find works out.
This Natalie thing is new, and amazing. I was hesitant at first, because I wasnt sure how people would react to us going out. But its true when they say that the second you stop looking, the best things pop up. I'd honestly forgot about relationships and this one falls in my lap. Now i'm in a relationship with an amazing beautiful, smart and funny girl who is a blast to hang out with. And she thinks the same things about me that I think about her and its awesome. I'm still a little insecure about the entire GF/BF ways, because i've never really had a REAL gf you know? So i'm learning as i'm going, but I like it. I like it alot and I like her alot.
All in all, my lifes pretty awesome right now. I've got good friends, money in the bank for my bills, a girlfriend and a good job (that I dont like and am trying to quit lol). But its nice to know that things for right now are really good and I dont really have to worry much.
I will say that I miss alot of my friends though. Its been awhile since i've hung out with them for a good amount of time. it seems like I see them like once a week or two. Thats why i'm looking forward to getting a day job. Hopefully, more time to hang out with people. Cant wait for that to happe. When it does, Be ready friends. I miss you guys. and I'm sure, if you read this you know who you are. Hope youre as excited for my return as I am.
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[11 Aug 2006|04:14am] |
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Fuck.
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[19 Apr 2006|01:50am] |
SO, I sold out and Now I have advertising on my page.
I did it for the picture hosting suckas.
And the better cocaine.
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[03 Apr 2006|11:52am] |
Saw the hoods and at all cost lastnight here in san fran. It was helllllaaaa fun. Its really the first time i've ever two steped/danced at a show. I figure if I look stupid and rook it i'd rather rook it in front of people i'll never see again. Suprisingly I was the only one who didnt rook it haha. THERE was hella ice and water on the floor and shitloads of people where slipping. But not b-dawg. I talked to the singer from at all cost and we both agreed how suprising it was to see a band their style get that kinda love when you're playing with like 4 tough guy bands. BUT they got hella respect which was cool. Alex totally busted his ass twice. Once was because I pushed him in the circle piut and he hardcore busted his ass haha. taht shit was funny.
Alex,joegunaut and I are going to alcatraz today before we leave. So alex and I will be in a car for 40 hours. hella fun, right? That yucka better let me listen to some slim thug. I'ma be hella pissed if he doesnt.
Words I have learned in san fran that I will be taking back to texas with me:
Hyhpe
Cuddie or Cutty if its in referance to a person.
scrapea scrapea
rooked
Loked
yucka
yeah. ITS PRETTY TSWEEET.
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[18 Mar 2006|12:03am] |
So, lastnight I came to a pretty HUGE decision, as far as my finances go. I've decided to officially buy my moms truck. She "sold" it to me about a year ago for 2500. I've only payed off 1000 of it so far cause I been kinda lazy. So, Ive decided that i'm gonna start paying her about 150-200 bucks a month or so. So, if I do that, in about a year or so I can get the title changed over into my name. Then I can sell the truck, use the mone for that (i'm gonna estimate I can get 3500-4500 for it, cause its a 94 and itll only have about 145,000 miles on it, which is pretty decent for a truck. and the exterior/interior is in pretty great shape) so, If you add that and my income tax next year, which should be about 1,000 or so if this years any indication. SO, that gives me about 5,000 or so give or take. I know I want another truck, but I'm unsure of if I want another chevy. I like chevys a whoooole lot. And i'm gonna say my limit for a truck is NO MORE than 20,000 (after the 5,000 payment) I dont really wanna spend that much though. BUT, anyway. I'm looking at trucks and I've narrowed it down to these three or four and if ya care they're behind the cut:
( Read more... )
Now...this is a pretty substantial decision I'm making. Its not like i'm gonna worry about having the money, because at my job right now thats not a big deal, I can make the payments in about one paycheck. But...If I do this, It pretty much means that I'm stuck in this aparment for about 3 years or I'd have to get another job if I wanted to move out. I dont think it'd be bad getting another job, but I enjoy my downtime that I have with this job. And being that I work nights, it'd be easy for me to get a job working from like 4-9 every day or so. Just enough for some extra cash. Plus, I'd have to factor in my insurance, which right now is like friggin 220 a month for full coverage. I dunno if that'd go up whenever I get a new car or not, but I think it would. But I'll be 21 by then, and with a clean record (knock on wood) I should be able to have cheaper insurance. ANYWAY. Thus is my rant about buying new trucks and whatnot.
This is all assuming that my mom co-signs hah.
and...which one of those trucks would I look the most iresistable in? eh?
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[16 Mar 2006|12:37pm] |
I got a hurrcut. PICS BEHIND DA CUT.
( Read more... )
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[16 Mar 2006|12:11am] |
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! The Hold Steady signed to Vagrant Records?
Thats pretty sweet. Maybe now they'll come to Houston again and I can actually see them this time.
Because signing to vagrant should get them heard, and make people wanna go see them. UNLIKE LAST TIME WHEN NO ONE WOULD GO WITH ME.
Yeah. I'm still bitter about that FGTS.
V for Vendetta this friday~! WOOOO gonna see it DLP style. whatup.
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[12 Mar 2006|02:37am] |
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The ataris-Broken promise ring |
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I get upset when I see pictures she's taken of other guys in her bed.
Do I still want that to be me? I dont think so. But why did I get so upset? I'm the one who left her...well...technically haha. But this isnt about a life in technicality. Its about the things that blindside you the same day you tell your friend that "That relationship wasnt based on anything." It wasnt. It was based on a mutual need to be with someone. Didnt matter who. Its supply and demand of the "heart". Or whatever we have that closeley resembles that organ.
Then jimi hendrix-voodo child(slight return) came on my ITUNES.
And the opening guitar just made me smile. And I realize I't doesnt matter. I felt better, because if I wouldnt of ended that relationship, I probably wouldnt feel sooooo fucking good about myself like I have lately. I feel like i've finally found out who I am. Is it possible that If I would've stayed in that relationship, it would've just eaten away at me and I would've came out not knowing who I was or what the hell I was doing. Now i'm happy. In a weird sort of way. I long for a certain feeling, but its not a deathly longing. I can live without it for right now. I'm surrounded by alot of amazing people who I find having great hillarious conversations with. I'm happy right now.
BUT SERIOUSLY. I'm better looking than that guy. You best believe that ;)
SO, bottomnline...whenever I get sad and upset, I have to listen to this song. Cause its the best mediceine in the world. THANK YOU ITUNES SET TO SHUFFLE!
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[06 Mar 2006|03:43pm] |
This weekend was fun. Went to clear lake. Blah blah. I was sick kinda, so it wasnt AS fun as it couldve been.
Went to get my tattoo worked on sunday, jared was double booked, told me to come back at 7. Called around 7, he was still busy. Told him i'd call him sometime this week and we'd do it then.
FRUSTRATING. I should've been finished with this tattoo by now. I gave jared the fucking deposit in NOVEMBER. and I havent been able to get it finished yet? ITS FUCKING MARCH.
Serioulsy. Lame.
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[01 Mar 2006|12:35am] |
SO the band pretty much had "the talk" today. And it actually went reallllly fucking well. We all agreed that trying to do this much this soon was boarderline retarted. So yeah. Things should be going alright now. we're looking to start playing shows in about a month or so maybe.
Uhm. Thats about it. This week is pretty chill for the most part. I'm going to try and get my tattoo worked on this weekend, depending on if Jared is actually there. I need to get this shit finished. I'm also thinking of getting another one in a about a week. It really just depends though. I'm thinking something with old school coloring.
meh.
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[27 Feb 2006|01:50am] |
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Gatsbys american dream- SHHHHHHHH i'm listening to reason! |
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This weekend was fun. Yesterday I went to clear lake to hang out with a bunch of people that are amazing. I havent laughed so much in awile. All those kids where hillarious. We hung out at a house that was right around the streat from andrea yates old hats, and it kinda made me sad to be telling dead baby jokes.
I've bought two Elvis Costello cds this weekend, and both are utterly amazing. ESPECIALY This years model.
Tonight was bayside. I wasnt going to go because I didnt feel like going to a show. So I go over to my grandmas house, and her and I are watching "Dancing with the stars". And charlie calls me, and he goes "I have someone who wants to talk to you." and he hands the phone to CONNIE.
Now, FOR THOSE who might remember, LJ circa 2 years ago. There was this girl by the name of Connie. Her and I hung out quite a bit because she lived like 2 minutes from me. She was seriously my dream girl, looks and personality wise. I think I even introduced myself by saying something like "You're my dream girl." I hadn't seen her in close to a year and a half or so. So, needless to say I said good bye to my grandma and drove up to walters for bayside. I got there in like record time haha. I had a blast, saw a couple people I hadnt seen awile which was fun.
It should be illegal for your dream girl to NOT go out with you. I'm just gonna throw that out there. Like, not even joking hahah. She wants me to call her sometime soon so we can hang out. I'm looking forward to it, but then again i'm kinda not. It sucked hanging out with someone that you had suc distinct feelings towards. But I'm Branden, I'm the master at masking feelings and pretending like i'm having an amazing time.
I had an amazing conversation with the bassist of bayside about vintage baseball uniforms. And David hit me in the balls, and it sucked. Thats all I really have to say. This weekend was a good one. I hung out with some great people and had a great time. A little bit of Band drama is probably about to come up, so I had to enjoy one amazing weekend hah. Before the shit hits the fan.
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[25 Feb 2006|03:56am] |
I'm at work and there is nothing to do. I'm chillin here listening to my IPOD and playing sonic the hedgehog on wimp.com
I went to buy a cell phone today, all the way on westheimer cause its an unlocked cingular phone that i can use with tmobile. And the place closed like 4 minutes before I got there. LAME.
Then Frankie and I went to guitar center and I got jealous because they had so many guitars there that I could buy ON THE SPOT, but I dont fucking play guitar. Lame.
I bought Three new cds today.
1- Elvis costello- this years model
2- Gatsbys american dream- Volcano
3- Husker Du- zen arcade.
They're all pretty great. I'm satisfied with my purchases this week!
Tommorow i'm goin to clear lake to hang with some peeps. It should be a blaaaaast, if it doesnt rain. Which it looks like it will. Lame.
Sunday is bayside, Which should be great.
ALOT OF SHOULD BE'S. Need to measure up to sure things.
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[21 Feb 2006|07:36pm] |
I bought a replacements greatest "hits" comp today. Its pretty glorious.
I implore you to listen to them. If you dont, you're a FGT.
I bought 4 hats this weekend. I think I have a problem.
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[21 Feb 2006|12:12am] |
Its feburary 21st. A.K.A my birthday.
I'm 20 now.
I celebrated by playing video games and taking a nap.
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| We've got some blueprints, and we're planning an escape to better things. |
[20 Feb 2006|02:09am] |
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Nas- Memory lane ( sittin in the park) |
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This weekend has been pretty crazy. I've been seeing/hanging out with people I havent seen in like 2 years haha. I've actually hung out with kat for consecutive days for the first time in foreva. I miss hangin with that girl. I remember my senior year when her,jacob and I hung out like every week. fun times. I went to kyles birthday party lastnight, and it was pretty fun. I hadnt hung out with those peeps in like a month. Pretty much since I decided I wasnt going to drink anymore hah. They're cool kids for the most part. Some of them are kinda sketchy hah.
Today I hung out with Andreas and Mayo for awile, then went to hang out with kat. I took her to walmart so she could buy some clothes, and as she was trying them on I had to hold her purse, and the old lady at the dressing room was like "MY husband of 35 years wont even hold my purse. He thinks it makes him look gay" and then her and I talked while kat was changing haha. Old people rule. Apparently her son goes hunting and shoots birds he shouldnt shoot. UH OH.
Anyway, I had alexs camera today, and I took some pictures. CHECK EM.
<( More )
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| Some people in texas bring knives to church. |
[16 Feb 2006|07:58am] |
Astronautalis was lastnight. AMAZING as usual. This guy is hillarious and needs to blow up. Wait, scract that, dont let him blow up TOO big. Because I enjoy seeing him freestyle about topics in front of 20 people. We where all sitting outside and he came and chilled and talked with us for a couple minutes, Nicest guy in the world. He mentioned growing up musicaly in denton and I told him about Gay cowboys buying me hamburgers in denton, and how it was the best hamburger I've ever had hahah. Gay cowboys do exist.
It was a good fuckin' hamburger yo.
Drove up there with Kat, who has the CUTEST PUPPY IN THE WORLD. it made me miss my dog, so that kind asucked heh. Mostly lastnight was just chillin' on a rickety patio at helios with a bunch of my friends talkin', until a badass rapper stepped on stage. Eventhough he didnt take the stage till 1 am, because he has shitty negotiation skillz. With a z. I miss hanging out with kat. We used to hang out like NONSTOP the begining of my senior year. She's a cool girl with cute tattoos and a cool little puppy dog who bites me.
I SHOULD be getting more work on my halfsleeve this weekend. That is, if jared will ever BE AT SACRED HEART WHEN I CALL. Anyway, I think i'll actually start updating this bad boy somewhat frequently.
And like always, I gotta go out with some lyrics. Lets do it with hip hop tonight, since that seems to be the theme of this one.
I got so many rhymes I don't think I'm too sane
Life is parallel to Hell but I must maintain
and be prosperous, though we live dangerous
cops could just arrest me, blamin us, we're held like hostages
It's only right that I was born to use mics
and the stuff that I write, is even tougher than dice
I'm takin rappers to a new plateau, through rap slow
My rhymin is a vitamin, Hell without a capsule
The smooth criminal on beat breaks
Never put me in your box if your shit eats tapes
The city never sleeps, full of villians and creeps
That's where I learned to do my hustle had to scuffle with freaks
I'ma addict for sneakers, twenties of buddah and bitches with beepers
In the streets I can greet ya, about blunts I teach ya
Inhale deep like the words of my breath
I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death
I lay puzzle as I backtrack to earlier times
Nothing's equivalent, to the new york state of mind
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[15 Feb 2006|07:52am] |
Have I become what I've hated for so long?
It seems like I cant form an new idea to save my life. I'm running through the motions at breakneck speed, yet I've got the pattern down cold.
I sit down and I try to write, and all that comes flooding into my mind is shit that I wrote 4 years ago.
I'm completly and utterly amazed at how UNCONNECTED I am from just about every human being that I know.
Sure, I have some great friends, who help pass the time and I love them for it.
But when It all comes down to it, Can any of them say that they honestly KNOW me? And vice versa.
They may know my favorite color (blue) or the fact that I LOVE Bruce Springsteen. But do they know that I also HATE THE FUCKING color blue because it reminds me of the third grade and constantly being picked as the blue ranger, because I wore glasses. Do they know the reason I truly love Bruce Springsteen Is because Its what my dad used to listen to in our house when I was growing up. The earlier memory I have music wise, Is looking through my dads vinyl and seeing Bruce springsteens live 1975-1985 album. It reminds me of when the only thing I worried about was catching the latest episode of batman the animated series. I didnt have to deal with car insurance, or good money, or being worried about getting fired If I call in. Life was about what mom was making for dinner, rather or not I could play with my brother and his friends, and putting off taking a shower for as long as possible.
I hardly evenknow my fuckin' family. I dont know anything about my moms childhood other than the fact that she went to CE king. I dont know what she wanted to be when she grew up, her favorite music artist as a kid or her first boyfriends name. I know a little more about my dag, but still...the blanks are there. Even my brother and I have to force conversation. How Can I be so talkative around people I hardly know? yet around the people I should be able to talk to I cant say a fucking word.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I dont love people. I love ideas. I love the idea of love. I love the idea of a soulmate. I love the idea of destiny. I believe that destiny gets you to a certain place, and you're supposed to act on it. What If My soulmate was some girl standing in front of me at a show three years ago and I just didnt have the balls to say anything to her? I belive in an idea of loyalty. So much that its my fucking downfall. AND NONE OF THIS is new. I've felt this way for 4 years. I havent had any new ideas presented to me, and I havent had time to develop my own. I desperatly want to meet someone who can completely change the way I think about life. I want them to tell me that I'm full of shit for everything that I say and truly mean it. I want them to make ME re-evualuate my beliefs. Get me to start believing that Karma exists. And its not just an excuse for the wonderufl or shitty things that happen to people. I want to take responsibility for my own actions.
This is 4 months off my chest. Lets go out with some Springsteen.
It's a fairytale so tragic
There's no prince to break the spell
I don't believe in magic
But for you I will, for you I will
If I'm a fool, I'll be a fool
Darlin' for you
I'm countin' on a miracle</t>
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[08 Feb 2006|03:47am] |
I'm in a band now. Its fun. I havent sang yet, so thats a bit sketchy hah. We have a couple songs worked out music wise. Sounds kinda like "bury your dead". But I like it.
Other than that, life has been pretty good so far. All i've been doing is hanging out with friends, going to shows and writing. The first 2 months of 2006 have already been more fun/productive than just about all of 2005. Its exciting.
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[23 Jan 2006|09:03pm] |
I got started on my halfsleeve this past saturday. It looks aiight right now. But After its finished it'll look cooler than anything you've ever seen.
I'm growing increasingly happier with my life daily. It seems like 06 is going to be way better than 05. Hopefully its a fair assesment.
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